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Wisdom is meant to be common. Logic is to be expected. You are governed by careful thoughts, with all impulses tamed to experience. There are rules that must be followed — and you strive always to uphold them, knowing that they create order for an all too hectic world.

Your child doesn’t share this sensibility, however. He is instead baffled by it, can’t comprehend why you devote so much of yourself to regulations… or why you assumed he would do the same.

It is an easy mistake for parents to think that their children are capable of good reasoning. This is a skill that is developed over time — and yet it’s too often believed to be natural. It’s not. Individuals must understand therefore that youths need explanations for every rule that is created.

The laws of a household must be clearly defined. Children require structure — but, more importantly, they require clarity. All rules must be detailed. Their causes and effects must be outlined in ways that can be easily understood. This is the only way to make them relevant, ensuring that they’re adhered to. Choosing to simply demand obedience without offering why will result in confusion and possibly rebellion.

Parents must therefore chart out every rule. They must cite the need for order and be certain that need is recognized. Communication is essential and correlations must be created. This will allow obedience to be achieved with ease, rather than requiring constant punishment.

Your child doesn’t process information the way you do. You must therefore offer explanations that are simple, straightforward and can’t be undone by young logic.